Cheesy

Every once in awhile, someone does something that is so thoughtful, it's almost unbelievable.  And the best part is when they don't expect anything in return. They simply do it because they have a kind heart. 

On Christmas Eve, the kids and I returned home from church and then dinner at my folk's house.  As we pulled into our driveway, we all let out a gasp of excitement!  There, on our back steps, was a SNOWMAN.  Now let me remind you that we live in a place that doesn't see snow. The closest I've ever seen to snow at my house was a cold hail storm.  But low and behold, there he was...sitting on our porch... a snowman. He was immediately named, Cheesy (Eli said it looked like three huge balls of cheese stacked up).  Cheesy lasted until the next day but my children will remember this  forever.

Now do I know where Cheesy came from? Of course. :)

Merry Christmas (two days later...)

Christmas has come and gone in a whirlwind.  The older I get, the more it seems like it's always Christmas. Remember when you were a child and it took ages and ages for the holidays to come around.  And when they did, the month of December was the longest month ever!!???  Well now, at the ripe ol' age of 37, it seems like just as we are putting the holiday decorations away, it's time to start thinking about getting them out again. I am amazed at how fast time flies.  My kids are growing up right before my eyes and it makes me happy and sad, all at the same time. More on that later.....

So, Christmas.....   it was great. The kids woke up early and were under strict instructions not to come downstairs until they saw that the hall light was on.  This rule was implemented for many reasons: a) don't want to risk seeing Santa. b) 3am is too early to get up! c) mommy wants to sleep in a teeny bit. d) daddy wasn't coming to the house until 6:15am (amazing I had convinced him to come THAT early!).  He showed up right on the dot of 6:15am but this was after Sophie had already crept downstairs at 5:30am in tears because her ocean CD (white noise) had turned off during the night and she was afraid she'd hear Santa! I quickly ushered her up to bed but not before she caught an early glimpse of the "joy" that was laid out in the living room.  Later she would tell me that she only saw shadows of all the things (ha!). 

My parents hosted Christmas brunch this year and as it was decided, we'd meet at their house at 11am.  Eleven???  In the morning? For brunch? Isn't that LUNCH?  The time had been decided by my brother and sis-in-law.  Did they not realize that I'd be up about 5 hours before that and in those 5 hours, I'd have time to open presents, eat breakfast, take a nap AND play with the kids???  Five hours is a long time in "child time".  So I bargained with my bro and 10:30am was the new meeting time.  Turns out, 11 would have been just fine considering I was able to go back to bed and snooze until I HAD to wake up for brunch. Damn me for insisting on getting my way with the time change.

Brunch was yummy and as usual, my mom outdid herself.  She's an overachiever but man, does it pay off! Stockings, presents, happy children, happy adults.  This year the adults decided we'd do a Secret Santa type gift exchange.  Prior to Christmas, we had all drawn names and that was the one person we'd purchase a present for, $50 or under.  I drew my sister-in-law.  I got her a scarf and a Starbucks gift card. My brother had my name and I got a gift certificate to my favorite store: Target!

After brunch, I drove my kiddies down to their daddy's so they could open presents there.  I went home to a quiet house. My mom had offered for me to come back to their house if I didn't want to spend Christmas by myself.  Are you kidding me??  As much as I appreciated the offer, spending a few hours in my house, alone, in the quiet, doing whatever I wanted..... Merry Christmas to me! 

At 4:30pm, my ex and his gf dropped the kids off and we spent the rest of the evening relaxing and playing with our new toys.  All in all, Christmas was a success! I am extremely grateful for my family and a wonderful day.  And before I know it, it will be the holiday season once again...  better get ready!

My "other" children

I love being a teacher. Simple as that. I am so grateful that I have a job that excites me and that I look forward to.  Don't get me wrong, I'm thrilled to have a couple weeks off for Winter break.  But in the end, my job is one of the things that I thank God for everyday.  There are so many reasons why - too many to mention. But being able to spend time with my 24 amazing students is at the top.  They are all incredible children, even the ones that test my patience from time to time. And even on those days when it seems like nothing is going right, there are always tiny reminders as to how special my job truly is. 

As we all know, the Sandy Hook shooting shook us up and made us want to run and protect our loved ones.  My 24 students are MY kids when I am with them.  And it is my job to protect them from any harm that may come to them while at school.  When we returned to school the following Monday, a student of mine came up to me and handed me this note:

As I read it, my eyes filled with tears and I hugged him as tight as I could.  I think he was probably wondering when I was going to let go!  It is things like this that make it all worth while and remind me why I became a teacher.  Simply amazing.....

*Prayers*

It has taken me a couple of days to write this post.  Not because I've been too busy but because it was too hard to even think about it.  By now you have probably heard what happened in Newtown Conn.  It is horrific and unimaginable. I'm sure every parent, grandparent, etc. is feeling the despair and sadness right now.  As a mother, I cried.  And as a teacher of little ones, I cried.

When I am at work, those 24 little six and seven year olds are MY kids.  They are my heart and soul, my responsibility.  It is up to me to protect them and make sure they learn something new everyday.  Their parents have put their trust in me to not only teach them what they need to know, but to also watch over them for those six hours that they are away from their families.  I take that very seriously.

So, when I heard what happened in Conn. I could not even wrap my head around it.  I am sad for the families, I am sad for the faculty, I am sad for the children.  It breaks my heart to think about the children that lost their lives.  And it breaks my heart to think about the children that survived - those who experienced such horror that no child should ever have to experience.

My children went to their dad's on Friday night but all I wanted was for them to come home with me.  I wanted to hug them and never let them go.  But it is important for them to see their daddy and to maintain their schedule.  My heart ached as I dropped them off.  But thanks to their wonderful daddy, he texted me that night and assured me that they were both tucked safely in bed and he had given them both extra hugs and kisses.

I have not watched the news in the past 3 days.  I refuse. Perhaps its denial, perhaps its fear.  I do not want to see the faces of the victims, I do not want to hear anymore gruesome details.  It's too sad.  I mean no disrespect and I hope it doesn't come off that way.  It's just too difficult, too sad, too horrible.
\

 

Amazing

This Christmas, I have am not wanting for a thing. I have everything I could possibly ever want: my two amazing children, my parents, family and friends, a great job, and my health and that of my family.  When Sophie was writing her Santa wish list (and helping Eli write his), she turned and asked me what I wanted Santa to bring me? When I told her not a thing, she looked at me and said, "Is that because you have your two babies?"  EXACTLY! Couldn't have said it better myself.

I love these kids with all my heart.

When I look at my kids, I am in awe.  They are the most amazing miracles.  It overwhelms me to think about how lucky I am to have them both.  And when I think about how quickly time is flying by, it almost makes me cry.  It seems like only yesterday they were babies. And now they are not. Sophie is excelling in 2nd grade and amazes me everyday with how smart and kind she is.  And Eli..... my baby.... he is the most amazing little boy ever.  As I look back on what I've just written, I see that I wrote the word "amazing" quite a few times.  But it's the best and most appropriate word when describing my children.  They are simply AMAZING.

THE list

I decided today that I was going to make a list! A list that names off all of the things I want in a man. I know...lists are lame and shouldn't be followed.  But here's how I see it: I have been dating on and off for the past 3 years. I've tried online, meeting through friends, blind dates, reconnecting with old friends, etc.  And so far, not so successful.  Sure I've had fun but in the end, none of them have truly been who I am looking for.  They are either too old,too young, too far away, too busy, too short, too complicated, too bald, too preoccupied, too MARRIED! Whatever the reason, they just haven't been up to par. So that brings me back to the list. I have decided to make a list because I've tried being flexible and open to something other than what I really want.  And look where that's gotten me. Nowhere.

So without further adieu......


Things I want in a Man

(in no particular order):

q       Between the ages of 37-42

q       No children of his own

q       Accepts my children whole heartedly

q       Doesn’t want anymore children

q       Lives in ****** or ****** (local)

q       Has a career

q       Drives a safe car

q       Comfortable around my family and friends

q       Funny

q       Has a sense of humor

q       Has hair (not bald)

q       Athletic build

q       No smoking

q       Drinks socially (but not regularly)

q       Owns his own home

q       Financially stable

q       An adaptable schedule

q       Comes from a good family

q       Accepts my children's dad and his family and understands our relationship

* Not materialistic or egotistical   

  

There you have it.  My list.  Picky? Definitely. 

Let the games begin.....

It's all about timing...

Today I went on a date. I met "J" downtown for lunch. It was the perfect first date because we were able to hang out, get to know one another and eat! We went to a little Puerto Rican restaurant - it was so good! As I was sitting across from "J", I found myself looking at someone who seems to be a really good guy.  And then I laughed inside because this date we were on today, could have happened almost two years ago. Only it didn't because two years ago wasn't the right time.  We were meant to wait....

Two years ago, we were set up by a mutual friend.  He was newly divorced, I was newly divorced. Why not? So after corresponding a few times via email, he called me up one evening. It is safe to say that the phone call did not impress either one of us. It wasn't anything specific. We just didn't connect.  That was our first and last conversation ever. Or so I thought.....

Fast forward to earlier this week. I randomly got a FB message from him asking how I was doing? I thought it was a mistake. Kind of like a drunk dial, but more of a drunk post? So the next day I spoke to our mutual friend and she told me I should write him back. Why not? I agreed.  So I did.  Long story short... we met today for lunch and had a great time.  And we both agreed that we were glad we had NOT met two years ago. Neither one of us were in the right place.  Now we were. It's all about timing...

 Update: As nice as the date was, "J" canceled on me for our 2nd one. Hmmm....

Seriously?

The last time I blogged, I was recounting all of the "memorable" moments during my online dating phase. Like I have previously stated, there are way too many to list.  So I've chose a choice few.  And here are a couple more:

3.  I met "J" online and we immediately had a connection.  Did I really just say we had a connection? Good Grief! How does one form a connection over the internet? Whatever...anyway....  after emailing, texting and then talking, we decided to meet.  We met, realized we enjoyed hanging out, and proceeded to chillax for the next few weeks.  I say, "few" because I honestly can't remember how long we actually did date. I know it was over 3 weeks but I think it was under 6.  Obviously he wasn't as special as I thought he was at the time if I can't even remember how long we dated.  Anyway, after *said* weeks, he suddenly decided he could no longer date me.  I quote, "I'm just not ready to be in a relationship. You're a great person and will someday make someone else very happy".  Blah. I can't believe I fell for that crap. But I did. I cried.  I sulked. I got mad. I got over it. I got over him. Okay, now here's the kicker........ not even 3 weeks later, I'm browsing (stalking) on Facebook and low and behold, his profile shows a picture of him, a woman and a little white chapel in the background.  Say what?  I'll leave it at that, assuming that you can figure the rest out from here. Whatever.

4.  Have you ever seen someone who is so good looking, you do a double take (triple take)?  Well, I met "P" and we agreed to meet for dinner.  As I was walking up to the restaurant, I looked up and to see the most handsome man I've ever seen (in real life!) standing outside. Was he my date? No way.  Way too good looking.  But wait....that WAS him. It's not everyday that someone looks BETTER in real life then in their pictures. We met, had an amazing dinner together and then went to a local pub and ended the night there.  Fabulous evening, fabulous guy. His parting words to me were something to the likes of, "I had a great time. What are you doing next weekend?"  To which I answered that I thought I was free but I'd have to check (uh, really?).  So he said, "Ok. Next weekend it is. Hopefully".  That was that. And that was it. Seriously. He was never to be heard from again.  Whatever. 

I'll stop there. No more tales of online dating. It's funny to write them down, but it's also slightly embarrassing that I actually fell for so many lame things. I guess I can chalk it up to being guilty of wanting a boyfriend instead of just enjoying my life and appreciating what I've already got.  Lesson learned. 

So why now?

I've never been a big fan of dating. It is sometimes stressful, often exhausting, mostly confusing.  And it doesn't get any easier as you get older. In fact, I think it only becomes more difficult.  You no longer have the excuse of being young and dumb and you can't blame bad decisions on inexperience.  The only excuse that seems to work is the simple fact that it's been eons since your last date and you've simply forgotten the basics.   If you somehow manage to get past all of that, then dating has the potential to be almost enjoyable, possibly successful, and most of the time, even fun!

Dating for me seems so different now than it was 15 years ago. Before, I had to gather all my courage up to make a phone call.  Now, all I have to do is text. Before, I could go out with my friends and meet people at the bars.  Now, I can't even remember the last time I frequented such an establishment.  Before, my friends all had friends who had friends.......  Now, all my friends are married and so are their friends.  Before, I had all the time in the world. Now, my time is filled up with life's responsibilities.  Before, I wanted to have a boyfriends in the worst way. Now, it's something that could be nice, but isn't on my list of priorities, not even in my top ten.

When I first separated from my now exie, I dabbled in the dating pool.  But as I look back on that period in my life, I think it was in actuality, just a form of "rebounding".  I thought I had deep feelings for people, but really it was just me missing the company.  After about 8 months of that, I decided I'd try online dating.  WOW. Now that was interesting.

This is the part in which I regret not blogging way back when.  The experiences I had and the people I met were so bizarre, it's nearly impossible to write about it all now.  But in a nutshell, here are a few of my infamous encounters:

1.  While talking on the phone with "B" (actually, I was listening while he did ALL the talking), he began to observe a woodpecker outside his window.  The conversation became all about the wonders of woodpeckers - by the way, I've NEVER thought woodpeckers were that interesting.  As I sat there in pure agony, I put "B" on speaker so I could text my girlfriend.  The text went something like this: Please save me! Call me in a few so I can use that as an excuse to get off the phone with this looney tune!"  SEND. Ummm...oops... who did I actually send the text to? Yep, you got it: "B"!  But because he was so incredibly naive, he read the text, thought it was a joke, and then continued on with his woodpecker wonders.

2.  After texting and then speaking on the phone over a period of about two weeks, I decided to meet "R" for dinner at a local Mexican food restaurant.  I arrived first and waited in the foyer.  Each time the door opened, I'd glance up to see if it was my date.  Finally, the door opened and in walked a tall, lean man, around the age of 45 (my guess).  But seeing that this wasn't my date, I turned away.  Well you can imagine my surprise when this tall, lean gentleman looked at me and said, "Susie?"  Uh....what??  I thought I was on hidden camera or something.  This was NOT the guy that I had been communicating with over the past few days.  My guy was shorter, stockier, darker hair, younger.  The exact opposite of the  man staring at me.  I thought about pushing past him and running away, but I didn't.  Instead, we went to a table, ordered a beer (much needed!) and proceeded to have the most mundane conversation.  Had he not spoken about our previous conversations or retold stories that I was familiar with, I'd still think this was a completely different person.  And to be perfectly honest, to this day I am not 100% convinced he was the same man.


There are sadly many more examples of online dating gone wrong, but I'll leave you with just two examples for now. 

I am thankful for...

Like everyone else, around this time of year I reflect on what I have to be thankful for.  The older I get, the more I realize just how lucky I really am.  I have a wonderful family, healthy children, a place to live, a job I love, and amazing people in my life.  What more could a girl ask for. So, this Thanksgiving I am simply thankful for it all.

Here are some of the other things that I am thankful for:
* noodles
* Diet Pepsi (I know..so bad for me!)
* sleeping in
* sweatpants and cozy socks
* relaxing in the sun
* Sharpie permanent markers (thin tipped)
* my iPhone
* movie night with my kids
* hugs and kisses from my babies
* chips and salsa
* being so close to the ocean

Hope everyone had a wonderful Turkey Day.  Gobble Gobble....

Here we go... ready or not...

Let me start off this post by saying that I attempted to write all of this about 2+ years ago.  It was right after I was separated from my now ex-husband.  I had this amazing idea to blog about being separated and then divorced - what it would be like to raise my kids as a single mom, date again after a million years, etc.  I wrote my first post with as much enthusiasm as I could muster. And then I stopped.  Why? I have no idea.  I actually wished I hadn't because what has gone on in the last few years has been everything from amazing to downright ridiculous.  Too many stories to tell, not enough time.  And to tell you the truth, I'd rather just start from where I am NOW, as opposed to where I was two years ago.  So, let's begin:

This is me.  

Well, actually.... that isn't exactly me.  That's me on a very good day, cropped, photo shopped and and illuminated.  The real me is a less "glowy", no make-up, hair in a pony tail, sweats wearing, flip-flop lovin' gal.  In fact, when my son saw this picture, he asked me, "Is that you? Why are you so sun burned?"  

Here's the real me, complete with the two most precious 

children ever (even their grandparents will agree to that testament!). 

I'm a single mom of two beautiful children - Sophie is 7 and Eli is 5.  They are my loves and my whole life.  I often lose my breath when I think of how much I love them. Anyone who is a mom knows that this love is impossible to describe. 

I have been a single mom since 2009.  I am grateful everyday for the wonderful relationship I have with my children's daddy.  When we split, we both promised each other that despite our failed marriage, we would be successful at being the best parents to our children.  Since then, we've lived up to our promises and have built an amazing and healthy relationship.  Although we are no longer married, we are both fully there for one another, support each other in whatever we do, whoever we date, whatever life choices we make.  It's amazing how much easier it is when we get along. 

And this first post wouldn't be complete without mentioning my mom and dad.  Without them, I'd be lost.  They are the best parents a girl could wish for. I was adopted when I was 7 months old and consider myself to be the luckiest person in the world.  After my children were born, they naturally took to the role of "Mimi" and "Papa".  And to no surprise, they are amazing at being grandparents.  I love to watch them interact with my children and to listen to the conversations that go on between them. My kids are very lucky to have them in their lives..... :)  

So, that's all for introductions...for now.  I'm hoping to keep this blog updated and fill it with my life. I chose the title of, "Sippy Cups and the Single Gal" because that is what my life is at this point. Who knows, maybe one day my title will change to something else.  But for now, that's me and this is my life.  Enjoy.